So on a whim I checked my weight this morning. 270, the 6.8 pounds lost in two days! I wonder what I weighed Monday? I really wish I knew now. Judging by the fact that my face has a little definition now, probably in the 280’s somewhere, maybe more.
I must confess that I am not completely doing a juice fast. Juice has become more of a meal replacement instead. I am drinking two juices and eating one plant based vegan meal a day. I just don’t have the will power yet to drink nothing but juice so this is my alliterative. It seems to be working!
I have created a plan to be able to run full on for two hours straight by December. The goal is to wake up every morning from then on and run for two hours. Why I need to do be doing this, I don’t know; I have been receiving these missions from God for awhile now and this is the latest of them. For the first week I will be walking an hour to get used to moving again. It does not really matter where I go, just as long as I turn around after thirty minutes. Then for the next two weeks I will be walking for 9 minutes and running for one for the full hour. Then for two weeks walking 8 minutes, running 2. Followed by two weeks of 7:3, 6:4, then at 5:5 I will move on to an hour and a half. Moving on to two weeks of 4:6, 3:7, 2:8. At 1:9 I will move forward to going for two hours until I am running full on without any walking. After I am used to this, I can work on speed. No doubt my running will look more like a slow jog at this point, lol! But if I stick to my plan I will be able to do this! And this is of course going every day, morning or evening based on my schedule and the weather. (On the rare occasion that it’s cooler, I can go anytime.)
SO here I go! Today’s walk will take me to the rivers. I want to see if they are still as high as they were yesterday.
I broke, sigh. I was hungry, I forgot to bring a juice when I went out with my friend, and when he started to eat… So I will be starting all over again tomorrow. I CAN do this, it’s just a lot harder then I thought it was going to be. At least I know this going in to redo my day one.
I have to loose weight now, I now have a goal! Today when John and I got together it was to begin writing a movie script. I was originally only supposed to film it with a few walk on parts as an extra. Now I will be filming it and playing a very main character. I’m already working on how I am going to be doing both at the same time, lol. It involves tripods, 🙂 Anyways for the beginning of the film I’m fat, so I will be fine for the first part. However when we beginning shooting the rest and bulk of the film in October, I will need to be a much smaller size. So I have to focus! None of this breaking the fast on a whim of hunger. And I’m going to need to start working out earlier then planned if I am going to be the right size for this roll by October!
So here I go again…
This time I will leave you with my current weight, I finally got a battery for my scale.
Yesterday wasn’t so bad. I stayed at home, afraid that I would pull over at the nearest restaurant and eat everything I saw. Commercials were the worst though so I found myself with other things to do every time food come up on TV.
Today however is much harder. Today I am starving, or my brain thinks it is; and I suddenly can’t remember WHY I am doing this to myself??? All I can think about is a giant Burrito for Bullritos across the street! The thought that I should go eat one and re-start this fast tomorrow wont leave my brain. I need to run to the store, but I am terrified that if I do I will pull into the parking lot across the street on the way and grab that burrito… WHY?!?! Black beans, rice, guacamole, tomatoes, cilantro… I am SO HUNGRY!!!! F#@& the juice!!! Why can’t I restart tomorrow??? Bangs head up against wall.
I knew the first days would be the hardest but… God!
So the day has finally come for my long fast to begin. I have pain reliever ready for the headaches I know are coming from the soon to be Dr Pepper withdrawal symptoms. It’s good that I am on vacation for this, I have no patients at all when I am in caffeine withdrawal, and can get quite nasty to people who talk to me, look at me, glance at me, come within a twenty foot radius of me…
With the many ‘well wishes’, ‘good lucks’ and ‘you’re insane’ messages to help me begin I embark on the long, hard journey to loose weight, create endurance and become physically fit. No more yo-yo dieting, I am making life style changes that are healthy and will keep me going in the right direction. I am doing it for me, I am doing it under God’s orders, and it all begins with a fast.
As thunder rolls outside, I come to realize that I bought the wrong battery for my scale. So I run to my Wii Fit, those batteries are dead too… Great… I glance out my window, I can run to work and use the scale there… but it’s pouring down rain… sigh… perhaps I am not to know how much I weigh? Or more likely, how much I have to loose. Suffice to say, I know I am near 300 pounds. I will try and get to the store at some point today and weigh myself for a proper reading. Until then I will drink my Strawberry, Banana, Apple juice slowly to try to make it last longer… 🙂
I am also in need of that before picture…
Yesterday, was a long day. I had planned to eat all of my favorites for my ‘last meal’, but that didn’t really work out. The cafe I helped open, put so much of my blood, sweat and tears into, was closing. Somehow most of the crew that was there at the beginning was still there in the end. So together we took it apart, sold the last of our food and said goodbye. We finished the night by heading to the pub where we drank, remembered and toasted to new beginnings whatever those might be. So for me it was more then just the end of cheese, butter, oils and for a little while at least, food. It was the end of an era. The end of the days of working in the nice calm cafe when the deli became to overwhelming. Where will work now, when I need sanctuary from the inanity that is the deli? Yesterdays blog title would have been called: The End, because it was, in so many ways. But today is a new beginning, and it’s time to move forward.
I have been having a massive amount of problems with my novel lately and was laying in bed thinking about it, (because that seems to be where I think about it best these days, seeing as most of my things are all packed up.) And out of nowhere the answer hit me like a ton of bricks. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before!
My brother Nathan and I often read the same books, then we must spend hours debating and discussing them after. He has a way of looking at the same words we both read and getting these new meanings. I’ve left conversations with him angry and annoyed because he just pointed out all the flaws and physiological repercussions of my favorite scenes and characters. He understands this stuff! So I called him up and asked him to take a look at what I have of my book. He agreed readily being we have been tossing around ideas for this book since way back when we were both teenagers.
He seems to have a fear of writing himself, I think he would be great at it; but he would need to practice and he does not have that kind of patience. But boy will he call me at TWO AM and let me have it! 🙂
He hit me with everything from the names of my characters to the flaws of my main characters powers, and all I have sent him so far is the prelude and a basic outline!!! This is exactly what I need, but God, what have I gotten myself into???
I’m at a point in my life where I am trying to figure out who I am, how I got here and what in the world am I to do with my life?
Life is scary, hard and amazing.
How did I get to where I am right now? How did my life end up so off course that I am still working in a Cafe located in a grocery store? What sequence of events left me living in a tiny bedroom with my bipolar landlord and her emo daughter who has her hateful boyfriend over all the time? How did I end up in so much dept that I won’t be able to move on until some of it is somehow paid off? Where did I go wrong? Or maybe I am exactly where I am supposed to be… Maybe God has a plan for me and this is where I am supposed to be right now. These are lessons I have to learn in order for me to maybe deal with even harder things later in life. (I shudder at just the thought.)
In this series, I want to look back and track my life thus far to try and find out exactly how I got here. And maybe, just maybe I can find a hint as to where I am supposed to go from here. Who knows, maybe 20 years after this project is completed I’ll do this again starting here, and get to see if I managed to get it right.
Welcome to the Destination: Unknown Project, I hope you enjoy the ride.