So the day has finally come for my long fast to begin. I have pain reliever ready for the headaches I know are coming from the soon to be Dr Pepper withdrawal symptoms. It’s good that I am on vacation for this, I have no patients at all when I am in caffeine withdrawal, and can get quite nasty to people who talk to me, look at me, glance at me, come within a twenty foot radius of me…
With the many ‘well wishes’, ‘good lucks’ and ‘you’re insane’ messages to help me begin I embark on the long, hard journey to loose weight, create endurance and become physically fit. No more yo-yo dieting, I am making life style changes that are healthy and will keep me going in the right direction. I am doing it for me, I am doing it under God’s orders, and it all begins with a fast.
As thunder rolls outside, I come to realize that I bought the wrong battery for my scale. So I run to my Wii Fit, those batteries are dead too… Great… I glance out my window, I can run to work and use the scale there… but it’s pouring down rain… sigh… perhaps I am not to know how much I weigh? Or more likely, how much I have to loose. Suffice to say, I know I am near 300 pounds. I will try and get to the store at some point today and weigh myself for a proper reading. Until then I will drink my Strawberry, Banana, Apple juice slowly to try to make it last longer… 🙂
I am also in need of that before picture…
Yesterday, was a long day. I had planned to eat all of my favorites for my ‘last meal’, but that didn’t really work out. The cafe I helped open, put so much of my blood, sweat and tears into, was closing. Somehow most of the crew that was there at the beginning was still there in the end. So together we took it apart, sold the last of our food and said goodbye. We finished the night by heading to the pub where we drank, remembered and toasted to new beginnings whatever those might be. So for me it was more then just the end of cheese, butter, oils and for a little while at least, food. It was the end of an era. The end of the days of working in the nice calm cafe when the deli became to overwhelming. Where will work now, when I need sanctuary from the inanity that is the deli? Yesterdays blog title would have been called: The End, because it was, in so many ways. But today is a new beginning, and it’s time to move forward.
What do you do when your life has decided to stay in one long bad moment? How do you force yourself to get out of bed in the morning? Face the people who like to go out of there way and make it worse? How do you take that first step every day knowing that what waits for you is even more misery and bad moments? When does the good out weight the bad? When do you face the fact, again; that this is just life?Right now your not in a good place, but the world will tilt itself again and at some point the odds have to turn out in your favor, just long enough to out weigh the bad times and perhaps make you forget just long enough that when the bad times hit again, and they inevitably will; you can face it.
It’s all life. You get up in the morning, because you have to hope that today will be the turning point. You take that first step, because if you don’t things will only get worse. You face the people who will dish out there own life problem on you because every once in awhile there is that one person, having a good moment, that will make you smile for the first time in you can’t remember. That one person that will keep you afloat, even if just for that day.
God knows life is hard, he is always sending out life rafts to those in need of them. Will you see it when it gets to you? Or will you pass by it, to far gone in your own misery to notice the blinding light standing beside you?
Where does the good go? And how do we get it back?
After much thought and a lot of talking to another writer here on VOX, I have decided that I am going to spend this year planning and mapping out my trio of books instead of full out writing. With creating new planets and all that entails, all the people on those planets my main characters will run into, I have found that I have a daunting amount of ground work to cover before I move forward in my writing. So with that in mind I will plan to begin writing the first draft of my story next year, which of course sounds like forever from now, but when I look at every thing that needs to be planned out…I might need more time then that. LOL!
So wish me luck and feel free to write your advice I can use all the help I can get. <G>