So the day has finally come for my long fast to begin. I have pain reliever ready for the headaches I know are coming from the soon to be Dr Pepper withdrawal symptoms. It’s good that I am on vacation for this, I have no patients at all when I am in caffeine withdrawal, and can get quite nasty to people who talk to me, look at me, glance at me, come within a twenty foot radius of me…
With the many ‘well wishes’, ‘good lucks’ and ‘you’re insane’ messages to help me begin I embark on the long, hard journey to loose weight, create endurance and become physically fit. No more yo-yo dieting, I am making life style changes that are healthy and will keep me going in the right direction. I am doing it for me, I am doing it under God’s orders, and it all begins with a fast.
As thunder rolls outside, I come to realize that I bought the wrong battery for my scale. So I run to my Wii Fit, those batteries are dead too… Great… I glance out my window, I can run to work and use the scale there… but it’s pouring down rain… sigh… perhaps I am not to know how much I weigh? Or more likely, how much I have to loose. Suffice to say, I know I am near 300 pounds. I will try and get to the store at some point today and weigh myself for a proper reading. Until then I will drink my Strawberry, Banana, Apple juice slowly to try to make it last longer… 🙂
I am also in need of that before picture…
Yesterday, was a long day. I had planned to eat all of my favorites for my ‘last meal’, but that didn’t really work out. The cafe I helped open, put so much of my blood, sweat and tears into, was closing. Somehow most of the crew that was there at the beginning was still there in the end. So together we took it apart, sold the last of our food and said goodbye. We finished the night by heading to the pub where we drank, remembered and toasted to new beginnings whatever those might be. So for me it was more then just the end of cheese, butter, oils and for a little while at least, food. It was the end of an era. The end of the days of working in the nice calm cafe when the deli became to overwhelming. Where will work now, when I need sanctuary from the inanity that is the deli? Yesterdays blog title would have been called: The End, because it was, in so many ways. But today is a new beginning, and it’s time to move forward.
The brain is an amazing part of the body, there is so much about it we don’t know or understand. The CPU of our body which can only be run with our fuel pump, the heart. Sometimes it will do something so amazing, so mind boggling that you have to wonder…
Some odd months ago, I’m not sure when; I was at work when suddenly I knew things, I knew a lot of things in fact. My co-workers and I were trying to help a fellow co-worker with her college algebra problems and government homework. Normally I just chime in randomly on the rare occasion I knew something with the math portion, math and I are not friends. We’re maybe-sorta acquaintances in fact, addition and subtraction are on my side as long as you don’t give me more then three number digits. Multiplication and division can be done with a pencil or paper involved. Start adding letters and I’m a goner. Government however, I’m okay with; just don’t try to get me involved in a political debate, I hate them and will dislike you for trying to pull me into an argument I don’t want to have. We all are entitled our own opinions… even if yours is wrong. 🙂
Back on subject, this day was like every other day, I was slicing animal bodies up for human consumption (disgusting!) and Evett was calling out math problems to the portion of the group who knows math; when suddenly I knew the answer, in fact I not only knew the answers, I knew how I got to them. Like a light switch had been flipped upward in my brain, everything made sense and was easy. I started calling out how the equations should be done then told her if she had the right answers. We of course verified these answers before she put them down on paper. It was like I had entered the Twilight Zone. The left half of my brain was suddenly awake and alive and for five hours I used it as much as I could, even asking people to come up with problems so that I could answer them. It was fun and I loved it. The next day it was gone. My co-workers still think I am joking when I state that I don’t know the answers anymore. Or do I? What happened that day…?
In the time since I have often gone back to that day wondering… my only guess is that my neurons were moving to connect to a new synapse and in the progress made a brief connection to a synapse that connects to the other half of my brain. For a moment, I learned that everything I learned growing up is in fact up there… perhaps there is just little to no connection…
Today was a busy day in the deli. A crowed of people stood at the counter waiting for food or service. It was 1:25 PM, and the entire store went suddenly dark, like a dark shadow passed though from the right side of the store to the left. It was very quick, my entire crew and I stopped what we were doing.
“Did anyone else see that?” Sandy, our lead; asked. We all nodded, “Good, because I thought I was going blind.”
We then began to talk about what we thought it was before we turned to the customers to ask what they thought. That’s when we found out that no one else seen it. Our customers were looking at us like we were insane.
I had a very short shift scheduled. Two hours starting at 9 PM, do the cafe’s inventory then head home to bed. It’d been a busy day so I was looking forward to eleven so that I could go home and sleep. The inventory went smoothly, Edwin and I are a good team and can get the three to four-hour job of counting everything done in an hour and a half and it’s never takes me longer then half an hour to calculate everything so that it makes since to our boss when she goes to put it in the system. It was when I was calculating my numbers that we first smelled it. Burning plastic? It was a horrible smell. But our store has a lot of ovens so on occasion things will get left on something that is hot and melt. We didn’t think anything of it beyond normal curiosity.
As we were leaving to clock out Edwin and I began to realize that the smell was coming from my department. Since the deli was closed, everyone but me gone I got my first inkling of worry. Without a word, we turned into the deli and began to search for the cause of the smell. Nothing hot was on, but the smell was so strong our eyes were watering. After a long search we gave up and headed toward the time clock once again. We walked past the cheese wall (a long cold wall in the deli we display our cheeses on) only to find that the smell was somehow even more overpowering.
Now it’s not uncommon to see steam come off the cold wall, however this time we had a feeling that what was wisping out was not steam. We quickly began to pull the cheese out from that area trying to find the source. Then there it was. An outlet set in wall to plug lights into was on longer white and perfectly round, it was instead black, melted and unrecognizable. The power has been going out a lot lately, sending power surges around the store. It had already fried two computers. We figured that it had done the same to this outlet. Quickly we grabbed the ASM Angie and thus began one of the longest nights ever.
To make a very LONG story short, no one we talked to on the phone thought it was serious, convinced it could wait until morning. That is until the spark, the fire that shot out of the wall and the yellowish orange light that suddenly appeared behind the wall. Still want us to wait until morning to call anyone in? We stopped listening to the people on the phone right about then. Angie pulled the fire alarm to evacuate the customers, most of which thought was just a drill until the fire truck appeared. Turns out one of the customers is a fire fighter who radioed in our location immediately.
The next hour was spent with the night crew as we pulled the food off the entire wall while Angie continued to try to get a hold of people. Thankfully Sally with the key to get into the breaker room picked up her phone and rushed over. The fire was out, a bunch of wires were cut, and a mini disaster looked to have hit the deli by 2am. By now my boss is here and a big boss has arrived and no one could find the key to turn off the fire alarm. It’s not till three am that one of the thousands of keys we checked lets us silent it. By now even with the alarm off we are having to yell because even after the ringing in our heads stopped it still sounded like every one was talking from a great distance.
Finally the election arrived. He had already worked over 80 hours and you could tell he was no longer really there. On top of that he was getting sick and had this horrible barking cough that he never covered his mouth for. He cursed the damage the fire fighters did to the wiring and panels before doing his job and turning the power back on to the area. He tells us everything looks and sounds good before leaving. My boss then declares that this is a holiday (Labor Day) and that the wall must be put back together by six AM, so I sit in the office and watch the temperature computer waiting for the wall to stop throwing warnings. It doesn’t. Finally I stumbled over there only to find the wall is way to quiet. I curse. The fans have stopped working. Boss is on the phone with the electric company yelling about them coming back now and of course the wall sounded fine, it was silent. He came back, fixed the fans and now we had to wait for the walls temp to drop from 75°F to below 40.
Sally, my boss and I decide now would be a great time for a lunch break so we clock out for lunch and stop by Walgreens for a Red Bull then head out to Denny’s where Sally and I laughed and took pictures of my poor boss who fell asleep in the corner.
I spent the rest of the morning putting the case wall back together.Clocking out at 9am exactly 12 hours after I had clocked in and over 25 hours since I had woken up. I told my boss as I was walking out that I’m calling in for my 10 am shift. I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.
I try to give blood every two months and it’s not uncommon for my arm to either get tingly and hurt while it happens or for my arm to hurt and my fingers to feel tingly for a few days afterward. It always goes away, I can deal with it with the knowledge that my blood might have helped save someone’s life.
I gave blood July 29 2010 it was very quick as always. The phlebotomist who originally had me could not find a vain with her fingers so she called the phlebotomist who I normally have, over. She said she could find a vain in my right arm right away and quickly marked it then put the needle in, one shot, worked immediately, I barely felt a thing. I did not experience any of the normal numbness or tingling in my fingers while it happened or right after for that matter. I remember thinking, ‘man she’s good!’ It was my day off so I rested the rest of the day.
July 30th was a normal day at work. I sold food, cleaned then went back to the dish room as it was my dish night. The dishes consist of near constant lifting of around 100-200 pans that weight in range of 5 pounds to 20 pounds. I do this 2-3 times a week, so it’s nothing new. Nothing happened during dishes; I did not pull anything or bend awkwardly, nothing hurt afterward.
July 31st, I woke up with my right arm numb, tingling and sore. I figured I must have slept on it in my sleep then rolled over onto my back just before I woke up and now I just had to wait a few minutes for my arm to wake up. It did for the most part. But the area around my elbow and the crook in my arm where the needle had been put in kept throbbing and my fingertips kept feeling tingly. I looked it up online and found that this seemed to be common with people who had given blood days before. I shrugged, and went on with my life.
Aug 1st was a little worse. My elbow area still throbbed, my fingers still tingled but now my right arm and hand felt heavy and although I could still feel if I touched something, the sensation was very dull and it felt weird. Whenever I did something that required a little more work then say typing, my whole arm would hurt. When I got up from my bed that morning a very sharp pain ran down my right leg making me bend over gasping. It went away the moment I sat back down. Sporadically through out the day this would happen before it stopped all together that evening, however there was now tingling in my toes and general heaviness in my leg.
Aug 2ed, my right arm was still heavy, my fingers tingly, but the general pain in my elbow area was gone. I was relieved until I picked up something light like a piece of paper and my entire arm and fingers throbbed. My right knee was throbbing slightly, my leg felt a little heavier and my toes were full on tingling. What also caught me strange was my right side between my arm and leg felt a little heavy as well. I had dishes at work that night. It took me twice as long to do, though I didn’t feel out of rhythm. I went home tired, my feet were throbbing, my right arm hurting.
Today, I woke up and could only groan. My right arm, heavy and fingers tingling, was still sore. My right leg feels like my right arm. My right side is still heavy, only now so is the right side of my neck, face and even head. It feels like half of my brain is heavy and both my right half of my face and head tingling. To make it worse now my left arm is slightly heavy, throbbing and my left fingers are tingling too. I am also having a slight loss of sensation in my left fingers. On my face, I can still see just fine, but my right eye does not feel like it’s in the right place. (I looked in the mirror, it’s in it’s proper spot on my face.) However my entire right side is slightly swollen now.
I was planning on calling the donation center today but this is way beyond just my arm after giving blood. I don’t have a primary doctor anymore, I did not like the last one I tried and the waiting list to see a doctor anywhere it seems is astronomical. Seriously, two weeks before there is an opening? And that is at the doctor’s office I don’t like. Others have more like a months wait. Finally, I don’t want to go to the ER. It is so expensive even with insurance! A $100 up front, then a bill from every doctor that saw you. Furthermore I can’t go to the ER today, as I have work at 2pm, there is no way I would be out by then. I might not have even seen a doctor by then. I am however off tomorrow. But of course I have dishes again tonight.
After much thought and a lot of talking to another writer here on VOX, I have decided that I am going to spend this year planning and mapping out my trio of books instead of full out writing. With creating new planets and all that entails, all the people on those planets my main characters will run into, I have found that I have a daunting amount of ground work to cover before I move forward in my writing. So with that in mind I will plan to begin writing the first draft of my story next year, which of course sounds like forever from now, but when I look at every thing that needs to be planned out…I might need more time then that. LOL!
So wish me luck and feel free to write your advice I can use all the help I can get. <G>
I have taken the next step in becoming a better me. The first starting to loose weight, which I have 80 pounds to go, and several steps still to get to.
I became a vegetarian and feel much better because as well.
I have begun to write again, releasing some of this weight on my mind.
Today I start the next step of trying to live a better much more healthier life. I start my yoga classes at DAHN YOGA, with the hopes to feel better about myself and move forward positively. Today was the personal session to find out what I need to work on. I learned a lot about myself and that I can still bend in ways I did not think possible at my current weight.
In the meantime I am budgeting. Trying to find things I can stop to save that little bit of money to take these classes. Anyone want to make a donation? 🙂 I am cancelling my gym membership, that’s an extra $10 a month. I don’t use it, and I am probably going to be moving soon anyways.
Eating vegetarian can be very expensive. But it keeps me from eating out for the most part. And I really do feel good not eating meat. I need to really look at prices and make sure I am getting the best deals possible.
Stopping my massive Dr Pepper consumption is one of the things on my to do list in the weight loss department so I am going to start cutting back on that. If I stick to it, it will save me about $55 a month and when I quit all together it would save me around $70 a month!
I have already had my Netflix account on hold for quite awhile.
I’m already clocking in 16 minutes early everyday at work to try and make up the time I lose getting off early almost every night. Maybe I should start working slower to extend my hours, but by then I really, really want to go home and curl up in bed.
I don’t really go out and do things to much, when I see a movie it’s usually at the $1 Theater. I need to trade my half price books to going to the library. And I need to start charging people gas when they ask me to take them places because I am using way, way, WAY to much gas. Of course my car seems to drink it like I drink DP!
I need to see if I can get a better deal on auto insurance. Mine is charging me and arm and a leg it seems.
Any other ideas? I wonder what I have that can be sold on e-bay…